tiny cheats confession

i am still within my 90 day strict phase of the candida diet so technically i'm supposed to be as strict and limited as possible and i have to admit i am pretty proud of myself thus far but i need to get a few quick cheats and realizations about those cheats off my head.

• i have had beans twice (at mexican places to augment the size of my tiny meal once i realize that fajitas with no tortillas is not a lot of food)
• i've had one dollop of mayo (which contains vinegar) on tuna fish on two occasions
• i've had some soy sauce and now that i think about it i'm sure there has also been sugar in some of the sauces on beef with broccoli from chinese takeout places. (probably 4 or 5 times)
• as i mentioned in my previous blog i have had bread and pasta (each on time) which were mixed with wheat and corn flour.
• i've had a few cups of decaf coffee (3 or 4)

all of these cheats yielded in no real feeling of change or negative physical reaction. many of them had such minimal amounts of things i'm not supposed to eat that i think even in this early stage of my diet my body can handle it. i also think beans will be an early add back in after the 90 days i really feel they are a great addition to my personal diet. 

however last night, i was at a wonderful housewarming party and there was a beautiful slab pie with fresh hand whipped cream. i made it the whole night without really cheating more than accidentally having a carrot at the dip station and having a drizzle of soy sauce on some asian wraps. but that slab pie was calling my name. late in the evening i finally gave in and cut a one inch by one inch square put a dollop of cream on it and went for it. 

about 10 min later i did that same thing again. tiny insignificant pieces of pie. my body totally freaked out. i was full from eating lots of other things but suddenly my body was craving pie, i started imagining breaking down and just serving myself  3 massive slices and inhaling them. by body was craving sugar like i have never experienced. the yeast in my body had been fed on the minimal sugar in the two bites and was willing me to feed it more.

at this point i decided to leave, to take myself away from the overwhelming temptation. but clearly i'm not ready for tiny cheats, especially where sugar is concerned. my body is not in balance or control enough to handle that yet. and i think i have to be ready to not be at that place for a long long time. that feeling of salivation and almost un-natural convulsion is the same feeling i used to give into with sweets all the time wondering "if i'm so full how can i possibly be eating ANOTHER cookie or ANOTHER piece of cake?" it was an awful feeling and my desire to taste the pie was not satiated in any way. 

so it's back to the strict for me at least for the next 45 days.